Merjem Lumi njohur si Teologe prej gati 24 vitesh e cila fliste publikisht p\u00ebr Islamin n\u00eb rrjetet sociale, s\u00eb fundmi \u00ebsht\u00eb rikthyer me nj\u00eb rr\u00ebfim q\u00eb p\u00ebrmbys \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb ajo ka predikuar p\u00ebr gati \u00e7erek shekulli.
\nAjo shfaqet pa shami, me tatuazhe n\u00eb trup dhe me nj\u00eb identitet t\u00eb ri: Maria, emri q\u00eb i kishte dh\u00ebn\u00eb gjyshja para se t\u00eb hynte n\u00eb Islam.<\/p>\n
Pas 24 vitesh p\u00ebrkushtim fetar, ajo del p\u00ebrpara publikut si nj\u00eb \u201cish-teologe\u201d, tanim\u00eb si nj\u00eb njeri q\u00eb po k\u00ebrkon Zotin jasht\u00eb \u00e7do dogme.
\n\u201cNuk jam kthyer e krishter\u00eb,\u201d thot\u00eb ajo, \u201cpor nuk jam m\u00eb as ajo q\u00eb kam qen\u00eb.\u201d Dhe n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb \u201caskund\u201d mes besimit dhe boshll\u00ebkut, fillon historia e saj.<\/p>\n
Ajo ishte nj\u00eb nd\u00ebr figurat m\u00eb t\u00eb njohura t\u00eb predikimit islam n\u00eb rrjete sociale. Nj\u00eb grua q\u00eb vinte nga Kor\u00e7a, ishte rritur n\u00eb Durr\u00ebs dhe n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 13-vje\u00e7are kishte vendosur t\u00eb konvertohej n\u00eb Islam.
\nNd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb n\u00eb rr\u00ebfimin e saj t\u00eb fundit, Maria tregon se si, pas t\u00ebrheqjes, ka kaluar nj\u00eb vit t\u00eb mbushur me kriza identiteti dhe emocionale t\u00eb r\u00ebnda, depresion, vetmi dhe pyetje t\u00eb dhimbshme q\u00eb \u00e7do besimtar mund t\u2019i ket\u00eb menduar, por pak kan\u00eb guxim t\u2019i thon\u00eb.
\n\u201cKam menduar se Zoti m\u00eb do, kam menduar se jam n\u00eb sh\u00ebrbim t\u00eb Tij, por pse Zoti nuk m\u00eb mbrojti nga gjith\u00eb kjo dhimbje? Pse Zoti m\u00eb la t\u00eb shkat\u00ebrrohem?\u201d-thot\u00eb ajo nd\u00ebr t\u00eb tjera.
\nCitimi i plot\u00eb i saj:
\nP\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje njer\u00ebz. Un\u00eb jam Maria. Emri Maria \u00ebsht\u00eb emri q\u00eb m\u00eb ka vendosur gjyshja ime dhe emri Merjem Lumi ka qen\u00eb emri pasi un\u00eb u futa n\u00eb Islam. A do t\u00eb thot\u00eb kjo q\u00eb un\u00eb jam kthyer e krishter\u00eb? Jo! Nuk jam kthyer e krishter\u00eb.
\nUn\u00eb nuk jam k\u00ebtu p\u00ebr t\u00eb kritikuar k\u00ebnd, p\u00ebr gj\u00ebrat q\u00eb kan\u00eb ndodhur vjet. N\u00ebse dikush e ka ndjer\u00eb veten q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb mbrojt\u00ebsi i fes\u00eb apo e ka p\u00ebr detyr\u00eb, i lumt\u00eb! Por p\u00ebr mua si person, situata q\u00eb ka ndodhur vjet ka qen\u00eb gj\u00ebja m\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb q\u00eb kam kaluar ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00ebn time.
\nGj\u00eb cila mua m\u00eb ka b\u00ebr\u00eb q\u00eb jo vet\u00ebm t\u00eb rr\u00ebnohet realiteti rreth e rrotull meje, por t\u00eb rr\u00ebnohen ato 24 vite investim nga ana ime n\u00eb fen\u00eb islame.
\nKam menduar se jam njeri i mir\u00eb, kam menduar se kam b\u00ebr\u00eb mir\u00eb. Kam menduar se jam n\u00eb sh\u00ebrbim t\u00eb fes\u00eb dhe t\u00eb Zotit dhe kam menduar se un\u00eb kam nj\u00eb pozit\u00eb te Zoti, pra q\u00eb Zoti m\u00eb do. Ju jeni d\u00ebshmitar\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00ebse ka pasur njeri q\u00eb ka folur me aq shum\u00eb pasion p\u00ebr Zotin, p\u00ebr fen\u00eb, me aq shum\u00eb ndjenja t\u00eb thella dhe q\u00eb ka dep\u00ebrtuar n\u00eb zemr\u00ebn tuaj, besoj q\u00eb kam qen\u00eb un\u00eb, sepse e kam ndjer\u00eb realisht at\u00eb gj\u00eb.
\nPasi un\u00eb vjet u t\u00ebrhoqa, pas gjith\u00eb atij sulmi, lufte, e cila p\u00ebr mua ka qen\u00eb jo fetare, as njer\u00ebzore. Pavar\u00ebsisht se \u00e7far\u00eb mund t\u00eb kisha th\u00ebn\u00eb apo t\u00eb kisha b\u00ebr\u00eb, mendoj q\u00eb Islami \u00ebsht\u00eb feja e paqes. Kurse p\u00ebr mua rezultoi feja e dhun\u00ebs dhe e luft\u00ebs karshi meje si individ.
\nN\u00eb momentin q\u00eb u t\u00ebrhoqa, kam kaluar n\u00eb kriza emocionale shum\u00eb t\u00eb thella. Kam ndjer\u00eb shum\u00eb zhg\u00ebnjim, shum\u00eb tradhti, shum\u00eb posht\u00ebrim. Kam ndjer\u00eb at\u00eb posht\u00ebrimin q\u00eb ka folur p\u00ebr mua \u00e7do i men\u00e7ur dhe budalla. \u00c7do i madh dhe i vog\u00ebl. Nuk ka mbetur njeri pa m\u00eb shajtur, pa m\u00eb mallkuar, pa m\u00eb akuzuar, pa nxjerr\u00eb histori t\u00eb cilat edhe un\u00eb kur i d\u00ebgjoja, habitesha.
\nPas gjith\u00eb k\u00ebsaj, nisa t\u2019i b\u00ebj pyetje vetes: \u201cP\u00ebrse ndodhi e gjith\u00eb kjo? A ka qen\u00eb d\u00ebnim nga Zoti? Edhe n\u00ebse ka qen\u00eb d\u00ebnim nga Zoti, \u00e7far\u00eb kam gabuar? Edhe n\u00ebse kam gabuar, a kam merituar nj\u00eb d\u00ebnim kaq t\u00eb ashp\u00ebr? Dhe n\u00ebse kam merituar nj\u00eb d\u00ebnim kaq t\u00eb ashp\u00ebr, a \u00ebsht\u00eb kjo m\u00ebnyra se si mua Zoti m\u00eb tregon q\u00eb kam qen\u00eb e keqe?\u201d
\nEdhe n\u00ebse un\u00eb deri n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb kam qen\u00eb \u2018shum\u00eb e keqe\u2019 p\u00ebr ta merituar gjith\u00eb at\u00eb d\u00ebnim, si \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb jesh e mir\u00eb? \u00c7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj un\u00eb q\u00eb Zoti t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqet? Q\u00eb Zoti t\u00eb m\u00eb doj\u00eb?
\nA m\u00eb ka dashur Zoti n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb? A kam qen\u00eb un\u00eb n\u00eb iluzion? Kam menduar q\u00eb njer\u00ebzit m\u00eb duan, m\u00eb respektojn\u00eb p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb q\u00eb jam. Por doli q\u00eb njer\u00ebzit jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb nuk m\u00eb kan\u00eb dashur, por m\u00eb kan\u00eb urryer me shpirt.
\nM\u00eb kan\u00eb ardhur mallkime: \u201cT\u2019u shoft\u00eb jeta, t\u2019u b\u00ebft\u00eb shkrumb e hi. I l\u00ebnsh f\u00ebmij\u00ebt jetim\u00eb. Mos pa\u00e7 nj\u00eb dit\u00eb t\u00eb bardh\u00eb.\u201d \u00c7far\u00eb kam mbjell\u00eb un\u00eb tek zemrat e njer\u00ebzve, q\u00eb t\u00eb meritoj gjith\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb urrejtje dhe mllef dhe bullizim masiv?
\nNisa t\u00eb mendoj thell\u00eb p\u00ebr raportin q\u00eb kam pasur un\u00eb me veten, me njer\u00ebzit, me besimin. A kam qen\u00eb un\u00eb n\u00eb rrug\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00eb? A kam qen\u00eb un\u00eb e devijuar? I hodha n\u00eb tavolin\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha akuzat q\u00eb m\u00eb jan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb. A jam v\u00ebrtet qafire?
\nN\u00ebse kam qen\u00eb qafire, si t\u00eb jem besimtare? N\u00ebse jam shum\u00eb e posht\u00ebr, \u00e7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj tjet\u00ebr p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb e mir\u00eb? N\u00ebse kam qen\u00eb mashtruese, si t\u00eb jem e sinqert\u00eb? Si t\u00eb jem e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb? \u00c7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj ekstra?
\nUn\u00eb kam menduar q\u00eb duke sakrifikuar koh\u00ebn time, mundin tim, duke b\u00ebr\u00eb djalin e madh hafiz dhe vajz\u00ebn me shami\u2026 e gjith\u00eb familja\u2026 Un\u00eb duke qen\u00eb nj\u00eb myslimane praktikante, mendoj e devotshme. S\u2019besoj t\u00eb ket\u00eb pasur njeri q\u00eb ka falur m\u00eb shum\u00eb namaze sesa un\u00eb, t\u00eb ket\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb dhikr m\u00eb shum\u00eb sesa un\u00eb, t\u00eb ket\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb salavate, t\u00eb ket\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb adhurime, t\u00eb cilat, secila prej tyre kishte nga nj\u00eb premtim.
\nPra kush e b\u00ebn \u201ck\u00ebt\u00eb\u201d, \u00ebsht\u00eb i mbrojtur. Kush e b\u00ebn \u201ck\u00ebt\u00eb\u201d, Zoti k\u00ebnaqet. Dhe mendova: p\u00ebrse Zoti nuk m\u00eb ka mbrojtur mua nga gjith\u00eb k\u00ebto dhimbje? P\u00ebrse Zoti nuk m\u00eb mbrojti mua nga shkat\u00ebrrimi, nga vuajtja, nga vdekja ime? Sepse p\u00ebrgjat\u00eb k\u00ebtij viti, Merjeme nuk pati mund\u00ebsi t\u2019ia dal\u00eb. Vdiq.
\nVdiq nga dhimbjet e m\u00ebdha q\u00eb i jan\u00eb shkaktuar. Ajo q\u00eb mbeti ishte vet\u00ebm pyetjet dhe kriza e identitetit. Kam kaluar nj\u00eb kriz\u00eb identiteti q\u00eb nuk e dija m\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb jam, kush jam, p\u00ebr \u00e7far\u00eb kam ardhur, \u00e7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj me jet\u00ebn time? A kam qen\u00eb me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb n\u00eb iluzion? Ku jam? \u00c7far\u00eb jam? A kam qen\u00eb gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn n\u00eb t\u00eb gabuar? A kam qen\u00eb gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn duke punuar kot?
\nK\u00ebshtu vendosa q\u00eb, ashtu si\u00e7 u shkat\u00ebrrua jeta ime n\u00eb realitetin q\u00eb pat\u00eb, shkat\u00ebrrova t\u00eb gjitha bindjet e mia, gj\u00ebrat q\u00eb un\u00eb i besoja dhe vija dor\u00ebn n\u00eb zjarr p\u00ebr to. P\u00ebr ta gjetur edhe nj\u00eb her\u00eb rrug\u00ebn p\u00ebr tek Zoti, m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn se si un\u00eb duhet t\u00eb jem n\u00eb lidhje me Zotin, q\u00eb Ai t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqet me mua dhe t\u00eb m\u00eb doj\u00eb\u2026 Sepse gj\u00ebja q\u00eb m\u00eb ka dhimbur m\u00eb tep\u00ebr ishte kur un\u00eb e kam pyetur veten \u201cA m\u00eb do Zoti?\u201d dhe e ndjej q\u00eb Zoti nuk m\u00eb do. Jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb nuk m\u00eb do, por m\u00eb ka braktisur, po m\u00eb d\u00ebnon.
\nK\u00ebshtu q\u00eb, ja ku jam tani para jush. Nuk jam m\u00eb n\u00eb asnj\u00eb lloj bindje dhe besim q\u00eb un\u00eb kisha nd\u00ebrtuar p\u00ebr gjith\u00eb k\u00ebto vite. Sepse u shemb \u00e7do gj\u00eb, si jasht\u00eb, si brenda meje. N\u00ebse keni k\u00ebrkuar sqarim pse un\u00eb e kam hequr shamin\u00eb, kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb. Sepse jam duke e k\u00ebrkuar rrug\u00ebn p\u00ebr tek Zoti nj\u00ebjt\u00eb si\u00e7 e ka k\u00ebrkuar Ibrahimi alejhi selam, duke e gjetur vet\u00eb, pa e m\u00ebsuar nga askush dhe nga asgj\u00eb.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Merjem Lumi njohur si Teologe prej gati 24 vitesh e cila fliste publikisht p\u00ebr Islamin n\u00eb rrjetet sociale, s\u00eb fundmi \u00ebsht\u00eb rikthyer me nj\u00eb rr\u00ebfim q\u00eb p\u00ebrmbys… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":28998,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28997","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lajme"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.findnews5.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28997","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.findnews5.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.findnews5.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.findnews5.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.findnews5.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=28997"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/new.findnews5.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28997\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28999,"href":"https:\/\/new.findnews5.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28997\/revisions\/28999"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.findnews5.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/28998"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.findnews5.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=28997"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.findnews5.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=28997"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.findnews5.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=28997"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}